October has been an incredibly mixed month emotionally. I faced a horrible heartbreak as well as an exciting new beginning. As with all things in my life, I am torn between the good and bad; the joy and pain. I know the goal is balance, but sometimes the yin and yang are a bit much.
When I was young, I worried about what I’d do or be “when I grew up.” Loving the arts and having many diverse interests, I thought being an actress or writer would be ideal because then I could live every life I wanted within the precious one I had. As I matured and aged, I found God had other plans for me, though – thankfully – I have become a professional writer. God has blessed me with the opportunities to live many of my dreams, experiencing many things – so many that I often joke how some were “in my other life.”
Fortunately (and sadly), another life is launching. A lifelong dream both Dusty & I have had is coming to fruition: we are now full-time RVers. We’ve lived in a travel trailer before at a RV resort, but now, we are truly embracing the lifestyle. This includes “snowbirding” to share time with our children (who live in different parts of the country) as well as visit family/friends and to travel.
All these things are exciting and wonderful. However, the heartbreak came when we realized our kittens were not doing well with the changes. Kajsa got an upset tummy whenever we moved, Solvej struggled with proximity to the vacuum, and both kept running full force into the windshield. They were great huntresses, but when the bugs are OUTSIDE… Many want to laugh (it sounds comical), but it’s scary to hear and see your kitten whack into a window so hard they bounce backwards then smack hard against the floor. At some point, you need to face the reality of what is both right and fair. My kittens not only needed, but deserved to have more space.
Anyone who knows me understands how painful this decision was for me. It involved days or crying and random panic attacks, worrying over Kajsa and Solvej. The no-kill shelter we adopted them from took them back, but not without drama. I understood their anger (it wasn’t fair to the kittens to lose a loving home because of lifestyle changes), but we never expected any of this to happen. When it did, we hoped the “bus” was big enough to accommodate and the girls would adjust…
At least I know Solvej & Kajsa are being cared for… I will carry them with me no matter where I go. They were only with us for 3 months, but they’ve changed me forever.