I am not cook and couldn’t cook at all when I first married back in 1980. Luckily, my new mother-in-law took me under her wing and taught me how. After that, I learnt by default by having my own family and having to get creative to feed them.
When I saw it was Cook Something Bold day, I couldn’t, but I could write something bold and this is a short humorous piece that appeared in my book The Magic of Stories. It enabled me to flex my fingers as write different genres. Details of the book can be found at the end.
The Glory of Food
I like cooking, so I cook for Brian. He enjoys it, and then I enjoy him. Can I say that? Oh well, I just did. Dr. Brian was hot and likes his food hot.
“Cook me a curry,” he’d say, and I always obliged. Afterwards, Brian will oblige, too.
Sex is like cooking. Take boil for example; he brings me to the boil and calls me his little tart. Okay, so I have two hobbies and Brian is my man of the moment.
Yes, there have been a few others before him, but so what? Men have lots of conquests so why shouldn’t a woman? That doesn’t make her easy, does it? Ah, well, so what.
Things came together nicely. I’d returned from a holiday in South America, and that’s when I met Brian.
On our first date, I cooked at his flat. I made him coffee and put in salt instead of sugar. Not a good start, but he forgave me, and we’ve now been together for 6 months.
I try more adventurous recipes and he rewards me with more adventurous sex. It works for both of us.
Then he said he wanted someone to cook for me and it was my turn to be spoilt with good food at a restaurant. I hadn’t the heart to tell him I was feeling unwell. I was nauseous and kept excusing myself to visit the bathroom. Eventually, when I returned, Brian had paid the bill, and we were on our way home.
Usually, after a good meal, we’d work off the calories, but I had hardly eaten anything, and Brian looked at me with concern. The following morning, the pain had subsided, but I still felt ill. I was shocked when I looked in the mirror. As I came out of the bathroom Brian did a double take. He whisked me away with great speed.
Actually, he saved my life; his swift action caught my yellow fever in time. When I come home, I will cook him the best curry in the world. Afterwards, he said, he’d show me how to spice it up and I can’t wait for that!
